Allowing ourselves to be GREAT!
Have you thought about the things in your life that you’d like to improve on?
In the last few years this has become a bit of an obsession for me. Not because my life isn’t already pretty great, but because I believe that life is a constant evolution and I genuinely want to be as true to myself as possible. And when I find things in my life that maybe don’t sit quite right with me, that’s a sign to me that I could maybe rethink how I’m doing things.
I picked up a couple of fascinating books recently. The first is a book I read for the first time more than 10 years ago. I delved into it then, grateful for its guidance and it’s been sitting on my shelf since then, clearly waiting for me to be ready for round 2.
“You can heal your life” by Louise Hay.
Her philosophy is simple. Here is some of what she writes:
“We are each responsible for all of our experiences
Every thought we think is creating our future
It’s only a thought and a thought can be changed.”
I love this. It puts each of us squarely in the position of power to create exactly the lives that we want. So I started on her path again, ready and willing to find the first area of my life that could be improved upon.
Louise says to look at your life and see if you can identify patterns of the same kind of things happening over and over again. These patterns of similar experiences are created by the same limiting belief that we are probably not even aware that we have.
I thought about my own journey… the immense struggle that I’ve recently gone through, the one before that, and the one before that. From the first moments of anguish as a child to all of the challenging and uncomfortable experiences I’ve had since. And after a while, I started to see a pattern. And though I had never recognised it before, it is so clear to me now that it’s almost funny.
So here it is… As a child I developed a habit of hiding who I really was in order to gain approval from those around me. I purposely positioned myself as inferior to others so that they wouldn’t feel challenged, and would therefore enjoy being around me. For example I was and still am careful not to voice my opinion if I know it’s contrary for fear of losing friends. Or if I got top marks in school, I would hide them so that my friends didn’t feel inadequate, again for fear of losing friends.
This is probably something that a lot of us have as a habit, and in a lot of ways it sounds like the quality of a nice person, but in reality, it has meant that I’ve kept creating situations where I feel stifled and unappreciated. And how can others truly appreciate me when I’m not brave enough to show them who I am?
As Louise puts it… By not expressing my truth I’m denying my own worthiness.
So… on to the part where I try and change this!
Louise is all about affirmations. She says we can’t stop creating these negative situations until we successfully let go of the need for them. That’s a funny one to get your head around I reckon. It’s weird to think that someone ‘needs’ to feel unworthy, but after having a good old look at where things started for me, I can see how this ‘need’ was created. Hiding who I was, kept me safe from criticism and made me feel approved of. But being approved of for being something that you’re not is a pretty lame approval right?
So let’s get rid of this limiting pattern of behaviour.
Here’s the affirmation I’ve created for myself based on the advice that Louise gives. I change it up quite a bit, but this is the crux of it.
“I release the need to deny my own truth
The past is forgiven and forgotten
I trust my own instincts and it is safe for me to express myself fully”
I’ve been working on this one, repeating it over and over, sometimes out loud and sometimes silently, for the last 2 days. I can feel I’ve still got work to do, but already it feels like I’m opening up. I can now clearly see how this habit was created. And no judgement, but it’s time to let it go.
A friend of mine reminded me of this quote from Marianne Williamson recently. It’s so spot on!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
So… is there anything in your life that you’d like to work on? What affirmation do you think could be good for you? Let me know!